It's all about God!

 

I had the hardest time coming up with a lesson for Sunday at the retreat. What do I want women to learn?  The most important thing I could ever teach is for them to love Jesus.  To seek to honor and glorify Him in everything we say and everything we do.  Before we react, before we fly off the handle, before we say anything, we need to pray and ask God to help us.

So what have I been learning?  Over the course of a few years now, I’ve learned that life is not fair.  You may have learned that a long time ago.  And I guess I’ve always kind of known it.  But I had never experienced it.

I grew up a very normal life.  I have Godly parents, we went to church and were involved, we didn’t have any major issues at least that I knew of. 

At the age of 15, I knew I wanted to somehow work in ministry as an adult.  I couldn’t think of anything else I wanted to do.  I also knew at age 16 that I wanted to marry Dustin Janney.  It was just meant to be, and I knew it with my whole heart. 

I did marry Dustin Janney and we did start working in ministry.  And things happened that weren’t fair.  I don’t want to make this all about me.  It’s not a “whoas me, I’m so sad.”  But I’m sharing this to come to another point.

Things happened in my family, pretty much all across the board, that weren’t fair.  People in ministry that we thought loved us, well, it turned out that they didn’t.  They said mean things. 

And I found out that life is not fair.  There are some deep, dark valleys.  Your husband may not love you.  You might not love your husband.  You might have gotten a horrible report from the doctor.  Your financial life might be in absolute ruin.  Maybe you did nothing to contribute to that at all.  But you’re still paying the price.

You might be getting persecuted at school.  Your parents weren’t/aren’t nice to you.  You may have lost someone dear to you.

It might not even be that big.  Maybe it’s just daily life.  You work so hard to make others happy.  And they just never are.  You feel like you can’t do anything right.  You spin yourself around and around, and you tiptoe around, hoping you’ll say things just right so you don’t make anyone mad.  But you end up doing it wrong (although you might not even know what was wrong about it) and then you feel bad and you beat yourself up about it. 

Life is not fair. 

If you know me, you know I like to run. Well, I like the feeling after a run.  One reason I like to run is that I like to get out of the house in the outdoors and it’s just so beautiful outside.  I love the neighborhood I am blessed to run in, and the sights of the big tall trees, the rabbits on the outskirts of the woods, the pond and the sun rising on the horizon…I love it and I think of God and I feel so close to Jesus when I am out there.  I sometimes am begging Him to help me get through my work out. 

But there was one particular day that I was running and I was feeling so sad.  I was just honest with God.  I said, “God, it is just not fair!!!! I don’t think You even wanted that to happen.  And I’m not even upset for me, but all the other people it affected…it’s not fair, God, it’s just not fair!!!” 

And I promise you, as clear as He could be, God said to me, “Brooke, it’s not about fair or unfair.  It’s about ME.”

And I was so stinkin’ humbled at that.  I felt like an ant.  I felt so small and just thought about Job and how God took everything from Him, and when Job started the same game I was playing, God put him in his place with saying things like:

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?  Tell me, if you understand.  Who marked off its dimensions?  Surely you know!  Who stretched a measuring line across it?  On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?  Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt?

Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it? 

Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep?  Have the gates of death been shown to you? Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death?  Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?  Tell me, if you know all this.”

So I thought about Job on my run and how God said all of that, and more, to him.  How Job lost so much more and God basically said, “I am God.  I know more than you.” 

And in that moment, when I realized that life is not fair or unfair, it’s just really all about God, I had this freeing moment.  What would life be like if we didn’t walk around saying everything bad that happened to us is unfair?  If we had this foundation before the storms came, that we were safe in God?  And that brought me to think, why are we not safe in God? 

For me, it’s because I get scared.  I’m scared of bad things happening.  I get terrified and I can let my imagination run.  And I probably don’t totally trust that God has my best interest at heart. 

I haven’t come to a place where I continually long for Him.  I have times in my life where I do.  But not all the time.  I’m not always safe in Him.  I don’t always  trust Him with my whole life.  I hold back. 

But He is GOD and I AM NOT.  So I should not hold back.  I need to read Job every day.  I need to realize that bad things are so going to happen.  It’s a result of sin and the fallen world and there’s not one thing I can do to change what was set in motion in that garden thousands of years ago.

I also need to realize that everything I do is for HIS glory.  The neighborhood I live in is to bring Him glory.  The people I meet when I run is to bring Him glory.  Not so I can get a cool medal when I do a really long race. 

When I pick up my girls from school, when I do laundry, when I cook for my family, when I don’t have an emotional meltdown at the drop of a hat, it’s all for HIM.

One of my youth girls that is here this weekend, one time told me that after youth camp, she had to clean the bathrooms at home. She hates cleaning the bathrooms. But this particular time, she cleaned the bathrooms and thought, I’m doing this for God. And it made cleaning the bathrooms better.

I can’t really tell you the purpose of me writing this except that I believe it’s what God had for me to do.  And I say that with all of the humbleness in me. I do not have all of the answers.  I am so not perfect.  My mom and sister are here, and you can ask them.  I question God.  I don’t know why He has done some stuff.  I get scared of things and I realize it’s because I’m not trusting in God enough.  That I even draw away from Him at times because of fear.  I definitely have issues.

But I’ve learned, and am continually learning, that life is for Him.  On a day that I can see with my spiritual eyes instead of physical, that is a successful day.  When I can see that I handled my emotions correctly, I treated my daughters with loving respect even while disciplining, I love my husband even when I think he’s wrong, I’ve bit my tongue instead of spilling gossip, I’ve prayed before I said what I wanted to say/email/text/Facebook comment…that is a day that I feel like I’ve brought Him the glory He so much deserves.

It is not about fair or unfair.  It’s only about God: El Shaddai, the Lord Almighty, El Elyon, the Most High God, Adonai, My Lord and Master, Jehovah Nissi, The Lord my Banner, Jehovah-Rapha, the Lord that Heals, Jehovah Shammah, The Lord is There, and Jehovah Jireh: The Lord Will Provide.