Honesty. Definitely the Best Policy.

Is honesty always the best policy?

I was recently asked this question as it relates to marriage.  My answer - yes and no.  Yes, honesty is the best policy if there has been hurt that needs healing; honesty is best if you have sinned and are repenting; honesty is best when telling your spouse why you fell in love with them, how wonderful they are, and how grateful you are that God brought you together. 
Honesty sometimes is not the best policy in marriage.  It is not becoming of a husband or wife to comment to their significant other how "good looking" or "hot" another is...even if it's someone famous that you'll never meet.  And even if your spouse claims they don't care.  It's best to just not go there. Honesty is not best when comparing your spouse to someone else.  Honesty is not best if it's pointing out all of the negative things about your spouse.
So often, we think we can say whatever we want, as long as we tag a "just being honest," or a "just sayin'" at the end of our comment. (Lysa Terkeurst, Unglued.)
This is not true.
Our tongue can do serious damage.
We must learn to control it.
We must force it to be quiet.
Those are the times when honesty is not the best policy.
But when honesty is the best policy -
we must force our tongue to speak - in love.
This is true for marriage. It's true with our children. And it's true for our friends - no matter if it's your best friend, just a good friend, or an acquaintance. 
You're hurt.  Your found out your friends went to that Farmer's Market (or the mall, or to lunch, or...fill in the blank) that they know you've been dying to go to, and they didn't invite you.  You feel like you've been punched in the gut.  In the book Grown Up Girlfriends, they describe this as an emotional fear button. There are certain things that happen to you that push this emotional fear button, and it causes a reaction in you that is physical.  This physical reaction can, in fact, point you to your emotional fear button - so any time you feel punched in the gut by something someone did or said, you know that your emotional fear button has been pushed.
Everyone has emotional fear buttons.
For some, it's the fear of being rejected.
For others, it's the fear that nobody could truly like you.
For me, it's all of the above.
I am so sad when I see girls my age that get so hurt by other girls.  (Yes...I am 32 going on 33, and my friends are all around the same age...and we are still girls!) And then they are afraid to speak up, because who wants to be that one that is always getting their feelings hurt?  I've been there - and I sure don't!  So we sit and stew in our silence.
Our silence of rejection.
Our silence of fear.
That silence can destroy us.  It can destroy our relationships.
This is when we must force our tongues to speak.
Pick up the cell phone.  DON'T TEXT!  Instead, find your friend's name on your contact list (you don't even have to punch in a phone number anymore - it's so easy!) and hit the call button.  Have a conversation with your friend.  A real, honest conversation. Not out of anger, or passing a judgment on your friend that you really have no idea if it's true or not.  But a gut-honest conversation.  It might go something like this: "You know, I've gotta tell you...I was hurt that I didn't get invited to the Farmer's Market with you...and I just need to know if there's a reason that I wasn't asked to go along.  And if there is a reason, I would like to know how I can help fix it."
Your friend might respond with something that will take you by total surprise.  Perhaps she had no idea you were free to go anywhere (because you're regularly a pretty busy person!) Maybe there is a reason you weren't asked, an issue you may not have been aware of.  Not that you are unliked; not that you are not good enough; not that you are rejected.  If you feel safe in the relationship, you will have the ability to be honest without fear of the other person rejecting you.
I encourage you to force your tongue to speak - or force your tongue to be quiet.  And before you decide which is the best thing to do for your particular situation - spend a moment asking Jesus what He thinks you should do.